• John and Alice Gurr

He said She said! The blame (I hesitate to call it game)

I awoke early this morning and couldn’t get back to sleep, I just knew God was up to something. What He revealed to me so excited me, I believe it’s going to set many couples free and bring them into such liberty that they will not be able to contain the joy!

To come back to the title, this is certainly not a game, this is an extremely serious issue that needs addressing by many.

”Now the serpent was more crafty than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said to the woman, “Indeed, has God said, ‘You shall not eat from any tree of the garden’?” The woman said to the serpent, “From the fruit of the trees of the garden we may eat; but from the fruit of the tree which is in the middle of the garden, God has said, ‘You shall not eat from it or touch it, or you will die.’ ” The serpent said to the woman, “You surely will not die! For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate. Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loin coverings. They heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God among the trees of the garden.

He said, “I heard the sound of You in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid myself.” And He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?” The man said, “The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me from the tree, and I ate.” Then the LORD God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?” And the woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.””

‭‭Genesis‬ ‭3:1-8, 10-13‬ ‭NASB‬‬

As men we are called to protect and be a covering for our wives. Where was Adam when his wife was having the conversation with the serpent?

Where are you? God asks. Adam is hiding because of fear and shame! Now look at what he does: here we have this beautiful woman who Adam was so thrilled with, yet now he starts blaming God Himself for creating her, and then shifts the blame onto her for disobedience! Ah, the deception! (Who was it who said, point the finger and you always have three coming back at you?) And Eve is just as quick to blame the serpent! Anything to avoid taking responsibility!

Now the point I’m getting to is this!

Firstly we need to come before God and thank Him for our spouse, and then ask Him to reveal any sin or wickedness that we have spoken about or over them, any resentment or hurt, or anything we have said to undermine them in any way.

“If we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

1 John1:9

Part of the meaning of repent is to have a change of direction!

“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my rock and my Redeemer!” Psalm 19:14

“Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.”

‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭4:29-32‬ ‭NASB‬‬

The next stage is to get alone with our spouse, and apologise and ask forgiveness for whatever God has shown us, without shifting any blame to them!

Now I‘m about to get rough! We need to take this seriously and stop bad mouthing one another, either to each other or to anyone else, even in so called jest (you know it’s not). Yes I do mean any criticism whatsoever to ANYONE, even your pastor, I mean absolutely anyone, (even God)! We must start to build up with our words. Then I believe it will not only transform our marriages and families but also our churches and even nations!

“in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

‭‭1 Thessalonians‬ ‭5:18‬ ‭NASB‬‬

There it is right there, ‘The will of God’, you cannot give thanks and complain! Make it your lifestyle to be thankful, especially for your wonderful spouse! After all he/she is your other half, build them up and you build yourself up!

How about starting today?


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